Fifteen ways to be annoying
- Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.
- If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
- Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you’re a “spider person.”
- When attending a movie you’ve already seen, yell out: “Don’t let him in! He’s the killer!”
- When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
- When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: “I hope I fixed it this time.”
- Beep when a large person backs up.
- Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the “little men.”
- Insist on making inanimate objects “dance”
- Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
- Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it’s full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
- When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.
- Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
- While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
- Insist that life is “one big musical,” then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.
